Pauline
Since I was twenty, I began to be more conscious about my search for Yoga, the truth about who I am, what the sages point at, “That” which the Buddha and a few others have realized, which is impossible to describe with words. Movement was my door to spirituality and Indian classical dance Bharata Natyam was my first clear answer to my search since the narrative, called Abhinaya, is always about the longing of the hero, or heroine, to reunite with the source. The practice of yoga grew simultaneously, first as a genuine support to prepare my body to dance, and as I went deeper into the practice, Yoga became a path to contemplate my thoughts. I then turned towards the form I found myself resonating with the most, Ashtanga Yoga.
It led me to non-dual teachings and self-inquiry which directly met my deepest questions. I came to a point of confusion between reaching freedom following a long path involving ancient traditions of practices, and the fact of freedom being our nature by birth, right now, independent of external conditions or practices. I found that many layers have been removed through a consistent practice but the root of the suffering “I”, has often not been touched. I “the practitioner "or "the meditator”, as subtle and pure it can be or become, is still a dress too much. Once the confusion got cleared up, regardless any circumstances, I feel such lightness and joy in my practice and within. Self-inquiry in the lineage of Ramana Maharshi has anchored my understanding about where my search comes from, for whom are the benefits of a practice, what is mind and what is truth. Mantras, that are present in both my yoga practice as well as in Bharata Natyam, expressed suddenly so perfectly non dual teachings in such a refined form, joining musical expression to words of wisdom and truth. Adding the movement of the mudras to the chants gave another dimension that completed my vision. Mantras answer my deepest quest by-passing the mind that constantly runs after knowledge, experiences, recognition, healing, transformation etc. Mudras carry beautifully the meaning of the words so it reaches the heart. This audio-visual form is nectar to me.